


wonder

by marichatinettes



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: AU, Aged Up, Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, LadyNoir - Freeform, Marichat, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, adrien falls for marinette, adrienette - Freeform, balcony scenes, kissing probably lol, light sin for now, maybe a little more than kissing, they’re both 18
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27075952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marichatinettes/pseuds/marichatinettes
Summary: “How do people go into this like they’re not about to lose everything they’ve ever known?” Chat Noir mumbles, chin placed defiantly in his gloved hands, his elbows propped against his knees.“Because they know they’re about to gain something greater than anything they’ve ever had before,” his partner counters, “and that’s absolutely worth it.”(A soulmate AU in which Adrien doesn’t believe in soulmates until Marinette changes his mind.)
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 67
Kudos: 168





	1. wouldn’t it be nice

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Back again with a Marichat centric story, and are we really surprised? This is technically based off my Marichat soulmate AU in A Million Ways to Fall in Love, but you will quickly find out it’s very different in terms of plot and AU type. But, I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless! Happy reading <3

**.**

_I wonder, wouldn’t it be nice_ _to live inside a world, that isn’t black and white?_

**.**

_1 day ago._

“—the last day?” 

Adrien snaps his head up in time to hear the tail end of a question come out of his friend’s mouth as they exit the classroom together.

“I’m sorry, what?” Adrien apologizes, running a hand anxiously through his hair. 

He’s been out of it all day. He knows he has. But, given the circumstances, can you really blame him? 

Nino simply shakes his head with an amused smile, slinging an arm around his friend’s shoulders. A familiar gesture that makes Adrien forget for a split second, that nothing will ever be the same again. 

“I said,” Nino begins, “can you believe it’s the last day?”

Adrien sighs dejectedly. His answer is no, of course it’s no. How is everyone else able to accept the fact that they’re about to go through life altering events with a smile on their face? Is he weird for wishing he had more time? Is he wrong to not want it to happen at all? 

“I really can’t,” the blonde admits, “it hasn’t fully registered yet.” 

“Well you better believe it,” his friend jokes, “cause it’s coming tomorrow and life as you know it will be forever changed.”

Adrien frowns. His words ring all too true. 

What if he doesn’t want things to change? 

What if he doesn’t... want a soulmate?

* * *

”You’re upset,” she says point blank.

It’s not a question, but a statement. Things with Kagami usually are. They’d dated briefly when they were younger, but decided amicably to split when they both realized dating without knowing if they were soulmates was kind of pointless. 

Among other factors such as Adrien still being in love with Ladybug. Though, Kagami wasn’t exactly aware of that part. 

She’s sitting beside him in the locker room. Another fencing practice done and over with. A practice in which he had been incredibly distracted and not at all himself. It’s no surprise that she noticed. 

“I’m... _apprehensive_ ,” he amends, shuffling gear into his duffel bag. 

“You shouldn’t be,” Kagami tells him. “The universe has decided what is best for you, don’t you think that’s a good thing?”

His hand freezes on the zipper. “I don’t... I don’t know.”

“Adrien,” she calls. “I don’t want you to worry so much. Please try not to let your emotions get the best of you.” 

The young Agreste frowns. “I’ll—I’ll try.”

He knows she means well, but he can’t help the annoyance that bubbles up inside of him. No one seems to understand the way he feels, and he wonders if he’s the one who needs to change. 

* * *

  
He waves goodbye to Nino and Alya as they walk out the door of Marinette’s home, their hands interlocked and a pang of jealousy courses through him at how perfect their relationship is.   
  
Nino and Alya are hoping, more than anything, that they end up being each other’s soulmates. But, they mutually agreed that if that isn’t the case, that they’ll always love each other and be happy for the other, whatever may happen as a result.

The four of them had eaten dinner together with Marinette’s family, to celebrate the special occasion they were about to embark on. He uses that term lightly, his wave is weak and his smile is forced. 

“I’m scared too,” Marinette says, when their friends are gone and her parents have migrated downstairs. He’s waiting for his driver to arrive when his classmate speaks out of the blue. 

“What?” 

“You’re worried, aren’t you?” Marinette asks him, clearing plates off the table and traveling to the kitchen sink. 

He bristles slightly in his seat. He had tried so hard to hide his less than positive feelings on the events that were bound to occur within the next twenty-four hours. Maybe he hadn’t hidden it as well as he thought. 

“How did you know?” Adrien whispers. 

“I didn’t,” she laughs, “not for sure anyway, until just now.” 

That earns a short laugh from him, but it’s genuine nonetheless. He supposes it comes as no shock that Marinette truly sees through his well-practiced facade. She usually does. Hiding from her is like standing behind a glass wall. It makes him feel incredibly vulnerable, but oddly relieved all at once. 

“It’s okay, you know,” she smiles warmly, running water over the plates, “you don’t have to be excited about this.”

Her words are barely anything and yet they mean everything. Something in his chest seems to lose its tightness, his shoulders seem to release their tension, and his tiring smile slips into the frown that reflects his true feelings. Had he been wanting to hear someone say that _that_ badly?

Marinette has always been a good friend. One of his best friends, truly. Never failing to make him feel comfortable and safe and understood. It’s one of his favorite things about her. 

Adrien drags a hand lazily across his face. “Don’t I?” 

“Of course not,” she assures him, “meeting your soulmate seems kind of daunting, don’t you think?”

She dries her hands on a kitchen towel, before grabbing a plate from the top of her fridge, and coming back to seat herself across from him. It’s then that he sees she’s placed a tray of chocolate chip cookies in between the two of them, and he can’t help the way his mouth quirks upwards at the nice gesture. 

But, the smile leaves as quickly as it came. “I think it’s terrifying to not be able to have any say in who you’re destined to be with.” 

Marinette pops a cookie into her mouth. “Do you really think you have no say?” 

“Isn’t that how it works?” 

She shrugs nonchalantly. “Your soulmate is your soulmate for a reason, right? I like to think that who you are as a person, and the decisions you make determine who you’re meant to be with.” 

He swipes a cookie off the plate. “But, don’t you have your soulmate decided when you’re born?” 

“Maybe,” she hums thoughtfully, “maybe not.”

”I’ve never—never really thought of it that way,” Adrien blinks in surprise. 

It’s an interesting perspective. One he’s never really heard before. But, then again, he doesn’t really know anyone like Marinette either. 

“But, if it makes you feel any better,” she leans in conspiratorially, “I’m scared too.”

Adrien raises a brow. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng? _Scared_? No way.”

She laughs good-naturedly. He likes the sound. “It’s true! I mean, what if my soulmate is crazy?” 

“Then wouldn’t that mean you’re crazy too? If a psychopath is perfect for you?” Adrien offers up with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

She throws a cookie at him for that comment, but can’t hide the grin on her face. Despite what she says, he knows Marinette thinks he’s funny. 

“In all seriousness,” she steers them back on track, “I’m worried my soulmate might be disappointed in me.”

She says it so casually that Adrien almost does a double-take. 

“Okay, now _that’s_ crazy,” he tells her. “That‘a literally impossible.”

“I know it seems dumb, cause they’re supposed to be perfect for me and I’m supposed to be perfect for them,” she sighs, “but what if they realize I’m actually super clumsy and I get nervous easily—“

”Marinette,” the young man cuts her off gently, “your soulmate is going to meet you and think you’re wonderful because you are. He isn’t going to love you in spite of your faults. He’s going to love you _because_ of them.”

She goes silent for a moment. He’s worried he went too far. But, he finds some solace in the fact that he isn’t the only one who’s nervous. Unknowingly she’s made him feel better, if only for a brief moment in time. Under the warm lighting of her dining room, in the cozy comfort of her home, and the soothing sound of her voice, he feels... good. Better than he has in a long time. 

“Your soulmate must have been a saint in her previous life,” he hears her say with another signature smile. “You’re pretty wonderful too, Adrien.” 

The compliment warms his heart. Coming from the nicest person he knows, her praises mean a lot to him. He respects Marinette a lot, a lot more than most people. There’s something about her that just makes him want to be a better person.

He cannot possibly fathom someone meeting Marinette and not loving her. 

* * *

“Is it bad that I don’t want this?” Adrien asks that night, the last of many normal nights, donning his cat ears and mask while Paris thrums softly beneath him. 

“You don’t?” Ladybug questions, seated beside him with a neutral expression on her face, eyes glancing up at the sky that barely shows the stars hidden behind the thick clouds. 

“How do people go into this like they’re not about to lose everything they’ve ever known?” Chat Noir mumbles, chin placed defiantly in his gloved hands, his elbows propped against his knees. 

“Because they know they’re about to gain something greater than anything they’ve ever had before,” his partner counters, “and that’s absolutely worth it.”

It’s ironic that they’re opposites yet again. She fixes things, he destroys them. Their contrasting natures have always been a part of their partnership, but now it only makes him sad. He can’t see things the way she does, as much as he wants to. 

“I don’t know if I like the idea of having a soulmate,” he whispers mostly to himself, but their close proximity allows her to hear him anyway. 

She frowns. “Why not?”

”Knowing that the universe has already decided who I have to be with seems... _wrong_ ,” he tells her, ears flattened against his head. 

“Technically, you don’t _have_ to be with your soulmate,” his partner reminds him, and he knows she’s trying her best to relieve some of his anxiety. 

But, he’s been dreading this moment for months now. It’s almost time for him to _go under_ and he isn’t ready to lose normalcy, not yet. He isn’t ready to leave his friends, his family, his partner. He doesn’t think he ever will be. Adrien’s always had his doubts about soulmates. His mother and father were supposed to be soulmates, and yet fate was not so kind to them. With his mother disappearing when he was barely a teenager and his father becoming a different man because of it, it’s safe to say, at eighteen years old, that Adrien is wary of the concept. 

“But, we’re _supposed_ to, aren’t we?” His words come out bitter and angry before he can stop them. “It’s looked down upon if we choose to deny our soulmates.”

To that she says nothing. He isn’t surprised. They both know it’s true, they both know what’s expected, what’s... _right_.

”I like the idea of having someone out there who’s perfect for me,” the spotted heroine admits earnestly. “I think that that’s kind of beautiful.”

”Anyone in mind?” Chat asks, and there’s no way she missed the hopeful lilt in his voice. But, when she looks away with a blush staining her cheeks, he knows that she does, in fact, have someone in mind. He’s known for a long time, actually. 

Her _mystery guy_ that she refuses to talk about for fear of risking their identities.

”Inspiring words from an inspiring lady,” he smirks, deciding not to press the matter any further, though he can’t help the tightening in his chest at her nonverbal confession. Will she be disappointed if her soulmate ends up being him? “I think you and I are pretty _purr_ fect for each other, I’m not sure any other girl could possibly be the love of my life.”

She laughs softly, but it sounds distant and hollow. ”Give her a chance,” Ladybug tells him, “have a little faith in the universe.”

 _You should be happy with someone else too._ He can read in between the lines when she speaks. 

Chat Noir smiles wryly back at her. “We can’t all be as lucky as you, Bug.” 

She rolls her eyes. “I’m sure your soulmate is wonderful.”

While Adrien doesn’t doubt that, he always hoped Ladybug would be his soulmate. And, while there’s a slim chance that she could be, there’s an even bigger chance that she isn’t. And yet, he can’t imagine it being anyone else, _but her_. He’s loved her for so long it feels as natural as breathing. He knows there’s a part of her that loves him too, but their responsibilities to the city, to their duties, have always been more important. And as the years went by he’s learned to be okay with that. He loves her in spite of their circumstances. Chat always figured she’d be his soulmate anyway. She understands him in ways that no one else ever has, how could it be anyone else? 

So very easily. 

It could be _anyone_ else. 

That’s what scares him the most. But, he wants to enjoy his time with her as much as he can before his life gets flipped upside down.

So he turns his head to gaze fondly at her before saying, ”no one could even come close to you, Bugaboo.”

The young man delights in the way she blushes before bopping him on the nose with her finger, the familiarity, yet again, oh so comforting in a time where he’s about to face the unknown. 

“You say that now,” her voice sighs, “but the whole point is that your soulmate will be better for you than anyone else, including me.”

His lips are a thin line, his eyes glaze over. “So what happens after we come back?” 

She shrugs her shoulders. “Who knows? Hopefully, a nice happily ever after.”

”Yeah,” he huffs, “hopefully.”

Adrien hangs his head defeatedly. He’s heard many rumors over the years. Most people forget everything that happens in _the_ _rift_ , and yet when they return, they somehow find their soulmates again anyway. It seems terribly counterproductive to wipe the memories of meeting your soulmate for the first time, but _the rift_ isn’t technically real. It’s a shared state of consciousness that can only last for so long.

But maybe—maybe he prefers to forget. If he can forget about the stranger he meets when he _goes under_ he can come back to his beloved partner and tell her his feelings haven’t changed, soulmate or no. He can practically hear the universe laughing at him through the silence. That situation is practically unheard of. When you enter _the rift_ a bond is created between you and your soulmate that allows you to find each other in the real world after you’ve both gone and forgotten about any events that transpired while you were there. But, if you fail to create a bond strong enough, you may never find your soulmate once you return. 

What if he defies that bond? Refuses to create one? What if he neglects whatever society thinks about him and shows Ladybug that no one else could ever be more perfect for him than her? What if he—

”—I’m going to miss you,” Ladybug says to interrupt his internal storm, leaning her head on his shoulder, his heartbeat picking up as she does.

He truly loves her. He always will. 

The moment forms a pit in his stomach as he realizes this may be the last time she lays her head against him for a long time. Apparently, when you _go under_ , time passes differently for you and your soulmate. He knows bits and pieces about what is to happen to him tomorrow, but not enough to stop the nerves from overtaking his mind and body. Not enough to make this a happy occasion for him.

“I’ll miss you more,” he says sadly, pressing a kiss into her hair as tries to memorize every detail of this moment.

While they will always be partners, meeting your soulmate drastically alters your life, your priorities, and your feelings. He spares one last glance at the beautiful girl beside him, her breathing in sync with his own.

No matter who is soulmate is, Adrien knows his heart belongs to Ladybug. 

* * *

_Now._

When he wakes up he knows he’s in _the rift_.

He’s no longer staring at the bleach white ceiling of a laboratory, but at the soft blue of a morning sky that stretches on forever. 

Adrien didn’t even feel himself _going under_. 

He staggers to his feet, only to learn that he’s on the same exact roof he had been sitting on with Ladybug last night. Only this time, she isn’t here. He then realizes that he is still Chat Noir. But, he can’t sense Plagg’s presence anymore, as if he’s been silenced to another part of his mind that he cannot reach. 

“Weird,” he mutters in a daze, flexing his hands and shaking his head to somehow rid himself of how disoriented he feels. 

Everything seems to look exactly the same as it does in the real world. As if this is reality and the rest of his life has been a dream that he’s just woken up from.

And he might’ve been able to believe that if it wasn’t for the fact that this universe was empty. Devoid of cars and people and noise. It’s a deserted Paris, with no one else but him, and somewhere out there, his soulmate. It would’ve been helpful to receive some sort of instruction manual on how to navigate this world, how to find his soulmate, or maybe even how to leave. He had been so nervous when he sat in that chair, that his mind had completely blanked before he closed his eyes and resigned to the process. 

The young man wonders what his soulmate is even like. Are they kind? Are they smart? Do they like puns? None of it matters if it isn’t Ladybug. But, at this rate it doesn’t seem as if he’ll even get the chance to find out. His lack of company is worrying him more than his potential incompatibility with said soulmate. 

“Just great,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before letting out a dry laugh. “Maybe I don’t even have a soulmate.”

“Unbelievable!” Adrien hears a voice cry out, only able to pick up on it with the assistance of his heightened senses. 

His ears flick. Once. Twice. Trying to get a better read on where the voice is coming from. And when the sound of a pot clanging on the ground rings loudly in his ears, his head turns in the direction of the noise. 

When his eyes fall upon a familiar balcony and a wave of deja vu crashes over him, he takes in twin tails, blue eyes, and... _pink_. 

“Holy shit,” Adrien says, stunned beyond any rational state of mind. “It’s Marinette.”


	2. if i’m being real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet cute. Soulmate style.  
> Or: Oh, fancy seeing you here... in our shared conscious... lol crazy right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like Marichat, well boy is this the chapter for you ;)

**.**

_I wonder, if I’m being real, do I speak my truth or do I filter how I feel?_

**.**

_Now._

She’s in her room.

Or—somewhere that happens to look just like her room. It’s technically not even real, something she has trouble remembering when the world looks so vivid and familiar. 

There’s a piece of paper in her hands. A list, to be exact, of tasks that she believes she is supposed to complete. More specifically, tasks she is supposed to complete with her soulmate, whoever that may be. With one glance at the list, it seems to be a basic get-to-know-you type set of tasks, and she skims it sparingly before neatly folding the paper and slipping it into her pocket. 

She decides she’ll come back to it when her soulmate finally shows up. 

Marinette has mixed feelings about _going_ _under_. _  
_

On the one hand, she believes that finally meeting the person she’s meant to be with is an exciting and beautiful occasion, but on the other, she has no idea what is going to happen in this alternate universe deep within the confines of her mind.

Does this mean her soulmate will be able to feel her thoughts? Will she be able to feel theirs? Does she even want that? 

She had been so nervous that she couldn’t stop the outpouring of questions that had tumbled out of her mouth as she’d been led to a plain looking chair. And yet, she feels like she hadn’t asked enough questions because she frankly has no idea what to do next. 

What she does know, is that the location is based off of the best setting for both her and her soulmate’s characteristics, a place where they will both be able to thrive. She certainly wasn’t expecting her house to be her starting point, but she isn’t going to complain. 

“Maman?” Marinette calls, half-expecting an answer and half not. 

No response. 

Marinette frowns. Are there even fake people in this world for her to interact with? Or is it practically a snow globe made up of her conscious and her soulmate? 

Deciding to find out, she climbs towards her bed before pushing open her skylight, emerging onto her balcony. This is the best place to look around, and coincidently her favorite place to think. Pulling herself to her feet, it doesn’t take long for her to see that there is no one else around for miles. Paris is quiet. That’s unfamiliar. She’s used to a busy city of course, but as Ladybug the roaring sound of an akuma is common in her daily routine. 

Blinking in realization, she reaches up to touch her earlobes, only to find that her earrings are missing and so is her beloved floating deity. 

“Unbelievable!” Marinette cries out in a mixture of panic and frustration, feeling way too vulnerable without her valuable jewelry. She hasn’t parted with her miraculous in years, and to suddenly be catapulted into an unknown world without access to her powers is enough to significantly raise her anxiety levels. 

There’s a somewhat relaxing conclusion that this is still her conscious and Hawkmoth probably isn’t here.

(She hopes that her Ladybug luck hasn’t manifested Hawkmoth as her soulmate of all people.)

Marinette sighs, feeling as if this has already gotten off to a bad start. And to top it all off, her soulmate is nowhere to be seen. If he isn’t here already, how is she supposed to find him? How are they even supposed to form a bond when they’re not together? Is it possible for a soulmate to ditch you?

”It’s kind of poetic,” a voice rings in her ears. An _undeniably familiar_ voice that stops her in her tracks. “That we meet here once again, just like this, don’t you think?”

Marinette doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but she’s questioning whether or not this moment is even real.

”You always seem to find me somehow, don’t you _chaton_?” Marinette asks softly, barely processing what’s happening, but knowing that an odd sense of relief has flooded over her at this new development. She can worry about her mixed feelings later, but she will never say she’s disappointed to see her partner. 

She turns her head to finally look at him, and it seems her comment has rendered him speechless as he stands perched on her railing, like he did years ago. 

Their eyes lock instantaneously, but it’s different. She isn’t just looking at Chat, she’s looking at her soulmate. 

“It’s really you,” she breathes in disbelief, but somehow a grin stretches onto her face at the sight of him. At the sight of someone familiar. Someone she respects and admires and appreciates. The universe has decided one of her best friends, is her soulmate, the person she’s meant to be with for the rest of her life, and in this moment—she thinks that’s kind of perfect. 

“Surprised?” Chat asks, suddenly bashful, and that’s when she remembers she isn’t Ladybug right now. 

That’s also when she realizes he isn’t overjoyed to see her, not like he would be if she had her spots on this time around.

Marinette clears her throat awkwardly and composes herself. She’s technically not supposed to know him as well she does, not as Marinette anyway. Perhaps she can chalk it up to being starstruck around one of the great heroes of Paris. 

“Pleasantly so,” she blurts out, with really no regard for the consequences, and it feels as if a filter has been removed from her mind. Are these the effects of sharing a state of consciousness with someone. Is it harder to lie? 

“Ironic that you confessed your love for me in this exact spot too,” he chuckles nervously, his tail swishing back and forth out of habit. 

Marinette blanches because she had forgotten about that particular moment. He had so kindly rejected her, claiming to already be in love with her other self, and Marinette had pretended to be heartbroken until they reconciled and became friends. 

Their interactions were few and far between after that, an occasional check in here and there, and sometimes she assisted with akumas when Ladybug was MIA for... reasons.

”I was also, like, fourteen,” she reminds him, rolling her eyes, but her grin is still present.

”Still,” he cracks a small smile, “I was certainly flattered.” 

“Obviously not flattered enough,” Marinette retorts, tone teasing and playful. 

“You’d be surprised,” he countered, “I was pretty close to actually saying,” he stops himself, “um—I mean, it wasn’t... easy to say no to you.” 

She blinks in surprise. Maybe it’s hard for him to lie too. Interesting. 

“I didn’t mean to say that,” he mutters, looking at the ground while his cheeks burn with a delightful shade of pink. 

“Didn’t you?” 

He turns even redder. “Look, Marinette, I think that I’m probably one of the luckiest guys in the world right now, to have somehow been deemed worthy enough to be your soulmate, and I know this might be dumb when I should feel grateful that you’re even here with me, but—“

”—you don’t love me,” she finishes. 

Chat Noir winces, but manages a slow nod as his tail curls around the railing awkwardly, his figure hunched and closed off. 

Marinette isn’t... _offended_. Not necessarily. She knows that he loves her alter-ego, and his loyalty is one of her favorite qualities about him. She also knows that she’d be lying if she said she isn’t in a similar situation herself. She is, however, slightly disappointed that he’s written her off so quickly, but she knows Chat isn’t one to play with people’s feelings. She considers revealing herself, but if their memories are wiped after this, what’s the point? Does she really want to go through another reveal that she won’t remember? Besides... maybe letting him get to know Marinette isn’t such a bad thing. She’ll keep it to herself for now, she decides, and if they find each other again in the real world, things will be different. 

“Platonic soulmates?” Marinette offers, extending her hand to him warmly. 

He stares at her. “Huh?”

”It’s not very common, but sometimes people stay platonic soulmates if they don’t think they can be a couple,” she explains, internally cackling at the fact that he’s just rejected her for herself. 

“You’d be okay with that?” Chat questions. 

“I’m certainly not going to force you to love me,” Marinette snorts, “and there’s someone else in my life that I have feelings for too.” 

He over exaggerates a gasp. “And here I thought you were a one-cat woman!”

She lowers her hand to smack his shoulder. “Says the guy who rejected me in front of my parents!”

”I’m sorry! I panicked, they were being so nice and I didn’t deserve it!” Chat cried, but his eyes look brighter and the corners of his mouth are twitching. 

“Yeah well, here’s your karma,” Marinette jokes, “you rejected me in front of my parents and now I’m your soulmate.” 

“Wow,” he mumbles, “I know I’m the embodiment of bad luck, but this an all time low.”

 _The nerve_. 

She goes to smack his arm again, but he catches her wrist before she can make contact with his shoulder, laughing at the way she pouts in frustration. 

“All jokes aside,” Chat says quietly, “no matter what happens, I hope you know that I’m not, nor could I ever be, disappointed with the fact that it’s you.” 

Marinette hears her heart in her head for a split second while her stomach does a flip. “I’m not disappointed that it’s you either, Chat Noir.”

“Glad we’re on the same page,” he smiles, letting go of her wrist. 

“We are soulmates, aren’t we?” Marinette points out, and saying it out loud sounds so strange. But, she finds herself itching to say it again. 

“Yeah,” he whispers, “we are.”

There’s an urge building up inside of her to say more. To say something, anything, everything? Marinette isn’t sure why holding back is hard, but she finds that she doesn’t really mind. She feels safe with Chat Noir, and anything she decides to say to him feels right when it comes out. 

“I was hoping it was you,” is what eventually slips out of her mouth, and she feels warm under his stunned gaze when his head snaps up to meet her. 

“You were?” Chat presses. 

Marinette shrugs awkwardly. “I mean, obviously there’s someone else I was hoping for too, but you make me feel good.”

They both flush instantly.

”Wait! I meant—you make me feel safe!” Marinette amends, “I meant like safe, and comfortable, and—ugh, you know what I meant.” 

“I didn’t,” he tells her, “but I’m glad you said that. You make me feel safe too.”

”Oh,” she blushes, “that’s good to hear.”

The superhero coughs awkwardly and hops off the railing to walk briskly to the other side, creating some distance between the two of them. Marinette finds it cute that she can still make him nervous, with or without the mask. 

“So!” Chat says a little too loudly. “What do we do now?” 

“Do you have a list?” Marinette asks, pulling the folded piece of paper from her back pocket. “I had one when I woke up.”

She notes the frown on her partner’s face. “No, I don’t have one.”

"I suppose we can share," the young woman suggests, unfolding it with a dramatic flourish as she reads aloud. "share a secret with your soulmate that you've never told anyone before." 

Her blood runs cold. The universe doesn't seem to waste any time does it? She averts her eyes away from the words glaring at her from the page, scouring the depths of her mind to find something interesting to tell him that doesn't have anything to do with her secret identity. From her peripheral, she can see that he's also shifting awkwardly, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

"You don't have to tell me your identity," she speaks up first, "I'll respect your privacy."

He raises his brows. "Oh, thank you."

"Of course," her smile is forced. The suggestion is really more for her benefit than his. If he reveals himself then she’ll feel terribly obligated to return the favor. And that’s the last thing she wants. 

But, suddenly, he slips back into his anxious state, his tail coiled around his leg this time.

"I can go first?" Marinette offers, "if you need some time to think."

"Could you?"

She nods affirmatively, when an idea pops into her head. "Remember the day I confessed to you?" 

He hums in acknowledgement and she steadies herself with a deep breath. "I didn't... mean it."

Marinette tries her best to gauge his expression and the best way she can describe his reaction is that he practically _wilts_. And, she's suddenly fourteen again, memories of rejecting Chat Noir pulsing in her mind. Everything is much more clear here in _the rift_. It's like memories become reruns and thoughts connect to everything she's ever known or experienced. 

"I see," he whispers, and Marinette is going to be honest when she says she hadn't expected such a depressing reaction from him. She thought he would have felt relieved to know that he didn't need to worry about Marinette's affections when he was very deeply in love with Ladybug.

"Let me explain," she winces, because his sad kitten eyes are breaking her heart. "I've always had, sort of, a crush on you?" 

It sounds weird to say, but feels right to hear. She can say that this is, in fact, a true statement. Crushes are harmless. She won't deny the fact that she finds him very attractive and thinks he's a great person, and he makes her feel incredibly comfortable with herself. Isn't that enough to call a crush? He always has her back, no matter what form she's in, and her respect for him is higher than it is for a lot of other people in her life. 

"You have?" Chat Noir perks up. 

"I mean, yeah," she admits. "I'm sure tons of girls have crushes on you, Chat Noir."

"This is different," he tells her. 

"Why?"

"Cause... you're my friend, Marinette."

The twin-tailed girl almost groans. If she had a euro for everytime she'd heard a blonde-haired, green-eyed boy call her a _friend_ in this lifetime, she'd have opened her own boutique by now. But, she brushes it off, as she always does.

"Right," she looks away, "it's weird when friends confess, isn't it?"

"That's not what I meant," he shakes his head.

She waits for him to continue.

"I don't care about other girls."

"What?"

He flinches. "Okay, I mean, of course I care about everyone, as a superhero I'm kind of obligated to care about all people and that includes girls who have crushes on me—uh, and ones who don't? But, the point is, I care about you. A lot. A lot more than... other people? This isn't coming out right, I don't know how to explain that I think the world of you, Marinette. And, when you told me you loved me, it wasn't some type of burden that you put upon me. It was probably... one of the highlight moments in my life. Just to know that someone as _good_ as you loved someone like me was—everything. And, I don't think I ever told you that."

She swallows thickly. "I guess that was a secret for a secret then."

"But, there's more," he frowns deeply, "and I have this unexplainable urge to tell you so many things that I've never even _thought_ about before." 

"Chat Noir—“

"I'm sad," he blurts out. "I'm sad you didn't mean it." 

"Chat—“

He takes a step closer to her. "Why didn't you mean it? Is it possible you might mean it one day?"

Marinette widens her eyes in surprise. "Chat Noir, we both love other people."

He looks conflicted and confused and frustrated all at once. "I know that, is it bad that I know that and I'm saying this anyway? I love Ladybug, but I want you to love me despite that. Things are just so much easier with you, Marinette. It's just better, it's different, it's something so indescribable and I want it because it makes me happy."

She isn't sure where this is coming from. She's even less sure how to respond to it.

"I hate the idea of soulmates," the blonde mumbles, "I have for a long time, but... knowing that it's you... I just feel like—I’m in love with Ladybug and yet the universe is saying that you're meant for me and I’m not against the idea."

Marinette reaches out to cup his cheek in her palm, the skin warm against her hand. "Kitty, you're experiencing new emotions right now, you don't need to rush into anything."

"This is exactly what I mean," he chuckles humorlessly, "you're like my safe place, a calming presence that unknowingly makes me feel something that I can't even put into words." 

"That's what friends are here for," Marinette swipes a thumb against the skin under his mask, somehow able to mask her rapid pulse with a calm demeanor. 

"I—I guess you're right," Chat resigns, slumping his shoulders and leaning into her touch. "But, this isn't just something I'm feeling because I know you're my soulmate, okay? I know it's so unfair for me to say anything like this when I basically told you the exact opposite a few minutes ago, but I think you're my soulmate because I'm feeling like this."

The phrase triggers something inside of Marinette, and her mind is instantly transported back to Adrien and her dining room and a plate of cookies. Her hand pulls away from her partner like the heat in his cheeks is burning her. 

"I think we both have had a long day," she smiles weakly, "and I really appreciate your honesty, Chat."

"But?" 

She lets out a shaky breath. "But, it's not as simple as it may seem for the both of us. And, I don't want to rush into anything we might regret, or that could ruin our friendship just because we've been told we're supposed to be together, you know? I think being here in _the rift_ is affecting us a lot more than we expected."

Her mind is racing, brain going haywire. Marinette isn't even sure if she's saying what she means, right now. She feels like her and Chat Noir have switched mindsets since entering this place and it scares her. She hadn't prepared herself for this possibility, and now that it's here she's just not ready to dive in headfirst with someone that she knows and cherishes in real life. One wrong move and that's an entire relationship that could be destroyed. 

"Right," he agrees, "I'm sorry if I overstepped any boundaries—“

"Hey," she grabs his face with both hands, "look at me. Don't ever apolgize for being honest. It's one of my favorite things about you. You were honest with me, and now I'm being honest with you. No matter what happens, I'll always be your safe place, okay? Soulmate business aside, I care about you, and that's never going to change. Even if we leave here with no memories of any of this, you and I are never going to change. Promise me that?"

His eyes bore into his, and he gazes at her so fondly she almost kisses him square on the mouth. But, she doesn’t. As crazy as this place is making her, she cares about Chat Noir too much to jump into something with him when her heart lies elsewhere. It's what's best for both of them.

"I promise," Chat leans his forehead against hers gently. "I'll soulmate swear."

Marinette laughs. "That's not becoming a thing, please take that back."

His laughter mingles with hers. "I can't, I literally swore."

"It's awful," she whines.

"You have to do it back or else this is all null and void."

"Can I trade you in for a new soulmate?"

"Hey!"

"Fine," she gives in with a sigh. "Isoulmateswear."

"What was that?" Chat asks innocently.

"I... _soulmate swear_ ," Marinette grumbles.

"Good," he places his gloved hands over hers, "cause you really might be the coolest soulmate out there."

She hums. "Even better than Ladybug?"

"You really had to ruin the moment, huh, just like that?"

"What moment? I thought we were just platonic soulmates?"

"... for now."

"..."

"... kidding!"

She smiles to herself. "At least you're honest,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you couldn’t already tell, the lyrics are from Wonder by Shawn Mendes and I listened to it while I wrote chapter one and if you want an enhanced experience I would highly recommend listening to it, it’s beautiful 😭🙏 EDIT: if you see two sets of ends notes I am so sorry I don’t know how to fix it—


	3. before i close my eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not technically emotional cheating if you like the same person, right? Too bad they don’t know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving!! Here’s a chapter as a special present and also my way of saying thank you to all you wonderful readers for the support! Hope you all have the best day and celebrate with loved ones!

**.**

_Right before I close my eyes, the only thing that’s on my mind, been dreaming that you feel it too._

**.**

_2 months ago._

”Are you okay?” Marinette asks.

“No,” Adrien answers. 

“But, _that’s_ okay,” she assures him. 

He glances up to look at her from his seated position on her living room couch. His knee bouncing anxiously while he fiddles with his fingers. 

He can’t help, but feel like an inconvenience to the Dupain-Chengs. It’s his fifth time stopping by this month, his arguments with his father getting more and more frequent. “Are you sure I’m not intruding?” 

Marinette gives him a pointed look. “What did I tell you?”

”That I’m always welcome,” he responds bashfully, hanging his head in his heads. There's something incredibly comforting about her house. He can't quite put his finger on it.

“And I’m a woman of my word,” she continues, walking towards him to lift his hands away from his face, “which means if you’re _always_ welcome, you could _never_ intrude.” 

“I guess I can’t fight that logic,” he smiles weakly at her. 

“Exactly,” Marinette mirrors his smile, “now eat these macarons or else I’ll be offended.”

“The last thing I’d ever want to do is offend you,” he says, reveling in the way her hands wrap around his. They’re calloused from all her sewing work, no doubt, but the warmth that seems to radiate from her envelopes him, and he finds that he wouldn’t mind if she never let go. 

“Then you better eat up,” she chides, offering the plate to him. He notes that the macarons are his favorite flavor, and they’re still warm. He wonders if she had these made as soon as he called and asked to come over. 

It sounds like something she would do. 

“Thank you,” Adrien whispers fondly, “you’re a really good friend, Marinette.”

His classmate scoffs. “You’re damn right I am, one of the best there is.” 

“I don’t know,” he teases, regretfully letting go of her hands to sit up straight. “Chloe buys me presents.”

She shoves a macaron in his mouth to shut him up, and he almost chokes from laughter. It's then that he realizes his reason for coming over has everything to do with the lively girl who lives here, and not the house itself. 

* * *

_Now._

He likes sleeping with Marinette. 

A discovery he’s just made while she breathes quietly beside him, hands curled under her pillow and lips slightly parted.   
  
When the time had come to go to bed he had been very ready to scamper off to her chaise and curl up there for the night. But, she had grabbed his wrist before he could leave her bed, awkwardly pleading him to stay with her because this whole environment was familiar and terrifying at the same time. He remembers the way she said she’d feel safer if he was next to her. To say that her words had warmed his heart would be an understatement. Adrien felt like flying when she glanced at him under her lashes and pursed her lips while waiting for his answer.   
  
Of course he told her yes. What kind of fool would say no? Besides, sleeping next to her made him feel a lot better in this unknown world too.

Adrien is painfully aware of the way her legs are tangled with his, underneath her covers, and he can’t help the way he scoots in to get closer to her. He’s always wanted to be closer to her. He still does. 

“It wasn’t supposed to be you,” he whispers into the space between them. “It wasn’t supposed to be this easy.” 

And yet, it truly isn’t supposed to be this _hard_. Adrien came into _the rift_ with the notion that meeting his soulmate would change nothing for him, that Ladybug was his love and the universe could not tell him otherwise. But he didn’t just meet his soulmate, he met _Marinette_. 

And, what’s strange is that he’s here as Chat Noir, and not Adrien. Though he feels more vulnerable like this anyway. How would she feel if she knew it was her classmate behind the mask?

How is he supposed to keep her at arm’s length when all he wants to do is hold her close? How is he supposed to face Ladybug when stray thoughts like these invade his mind every time he looks at Marinette? Is he really so fickle? As much as he wants to blame it on _the rift_ and adrenaline, he knows that nothing he’s said or thought all day has been a lie. Nothing he’s felt has been fabricated, just... been released. 

"I wish I met you first," Adrien exhales beside her, counting all the freckles adorned across the expanse of her nose and cheeks. “It’s selfish for me to think this way, Marinette. I know it is, you’d probably be disappointed to know how torn I am right now. I should be faithful, shouldn’t I?”

 _But to whom_?

He loves Ladybug. Deeply, madly, fully loves her like he hasn't loved anyone before. But, she isn't Marinette. And he isn't sure when Marinette became more of a home to him then his actual house and father, but a part of him feels like she always has been. Ladybug isn't his home. But, what does that mean? It'd be easy to claim that Marinette is his friend and friends can feel like home, but if she's just a friend, then why does he feel like he's betraying his partner?

Or is he betraying his soulmate by loving someone else? 

No. He loves Ladybug. Marinette deserves better than half of his affections. She deserves better than him. Adrien had practically poured his heart out earlier, surprising himself more than anything. But, she had been the rational one, the one who kept her distance when he couldn’t. 

He’s disappointed that he caved so quickly.

And yet, he has a feeling that he’d give her the world if she asked for it.   
  


* * *

  
That night he dreams of Ladybug on that roof, leaning her head gently against his shoulder, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.   
  
It reminds him where his heart lies.

* * *

When he wakes up she’s not there next to him, neither Ladybug nor Marinette, and for a moment he thinks he dreamt up the entirety of last night until he sees her pacing the floor of her room with the task sheet gripped tightly in her hands. 

“Marinette?” Chat manages through a yawn, stretching back languidly across her bed.

She doesn’t seem to hear him as she continues her concerned walk back and forth. 

“Marinette?” Adrien tries again, loud enough to get her attention as she snaps her head around to look at him from the floor. 

“Good morning, Chat,” she mumbles hurriedly, fiddling with the task sheet between her hands. “Did you sleep well?”

”I did,” he replies, slinking down her bed to meet her, “but it doesn’t seem like _you_ did.”

“I did,” Marinette amends, “but my morning’s been a little rough.” 

“... soulmate stuff?” Chat cocks his head to the side with a frown. 

She nods affirmatively before plopping into her desk chair defeatedly. “I was just thinking.”

“Oh no,” he teases, “that’s not good.”

Her lips quirk into a smirk, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes or change her mood. “What if we ignore the list?”

Adrien laughs softly. “Ignore the list we were given in order to strengthen our bond?”

But, she doesn’t laugh with him, and he realizes at that moment she isn’t joking. It’s a genuine suggestion and the smile is gone from her face, replaced by a thin line tightly pressed together. It makes him anxious. 

“Why would we do that?” Chat questions, eyes darkening without him even realizing it. 

She shrugs half-heartedly. “You don’t love me Chat Noir,” her voice is strong, but quiet, “so why waste time doing this when it’ll make our lives so much harder when we’re back in the real world?”

He swallows thickly, pausing to consider all the information she’s just introduced into the equation. Adrien... doesn’t love Marinette. Not like _that_ anyway. So what she’s saying should make sense. It should just click in his head and lift a weight off his shoulders and finally let him breathe. 

So then why, why does he feel like crying?

He knows that if they create a bond there will always be something pulling him to her when they leave _the rift_ , and it’ll only be an inconvenience if they decide not to be together. But, Marinette could never be an inconvenience to him, to anyone. 

“Chat Noir?” her voice rings in his ears.   
  
“I—I don’t think I’d mind,” he spits out, immediately shutting his mouth afterwards. 

“You wouldn’t mind... being bonded?” Marinette presses, sitting up in her seat to gauge his reaction. 

“I mean it would make protecting you easier, if I could feel you around, you know? Doesn’t that make sense? Don’t you think maybe we should just do the tasks anyway? Do you think it would be that bad to be bonded with me—“

Marinette stands up. “No! Chat Noir, of course not, why would you think that?” 

He blinks. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

”But, you did,” she argues, “because you can’t help but say what you mean.”

The accusation scares him. She’s right. She’s absolutely right and what is he supposed to say to that? 

“But, I can’t either,” Marinette laughs to herself in disbelief. “We both just can’t help ourselves, can we?” 

“No,” he shakes his head, “I guess we can’t.”

”So we might as well be honest with each other before the truth gets forced out of us, right?” Marinette continues. 

“I... I guess that makes sense,” Adrien says the words tentatively, but they’re truthful. 

“I’m scared I might fall in love with you!” She shouts suddenly, eyes laser focused on his with her jaw firmly set. 

Chat feels like he’s just been slapped across the face and given the most precious gift all at once. Butterflies erupt mercilessly in his stomach and there’s an embarrassingly large grin plastered on his face, he can feel it. His cheeks are starting to hurt as the words stroke his ego and fill his chest with affection. This should worry him, it really should. This is where he’s supposed to reject her just like he did years ago when her dad caught them on her balcony. 

But he can’t. 

“Yes!” Adrien cries out excitedly. Cause after the shock there are symphonies playing in his ears, a burst of something warm and pure and beautiful washes over him.

Marinette blushes, but her feet are still planted on the floor while she continues this staring contest. “Yes?” 

“Sorry,” he chuckles giddily, “but me too.”

She takes a step away from him. “You too?”

”Yes!” Adrien replies. 

“You’re... scared to fall in love with me _too_?” Marinette clarifies the question, as if she thinks the concept to be impossible. 

“Of course I am!” Chat scoffs. “You’re amazing!”

”Well I think _you’re_ amazing!” Marinette counters, eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed defiantly across her midsection. 

And Chat Noir thinks this entire situation, for one moment, is amazing. His soulmate sees potential in him, Marinette sees potential in him, in _them_. After so many years of being turned down by his partner, to have someone he thinks the world of, return his sentiments, the experience is overwhelming. Marinette looks at him, at _this_ side of him, the side that’s been looked over so many times, and she’s scared to fall in love with it. Scared because she thinks it’s plausible at all. 

“Great!” Adrien cheers, gazing down at her fondly. Basking in this newfound realization that she’s been dealing with the same struggle he has this entire time. 

“Why are you so happy?” Marinette says while holding back a smile. “You know this makes things a lot more complicated, right?”

He does. In the back of his mind. But, in the front of his mind, all he sees is Marinette. Marinette deems him lovable, Marinette sees him as someone she could be _in_ love with, someone she could care about in a romantic way. Just knowing this makes his heart want to leap out of his chest and into her hands. He’ll chalk it up to flattery, because he wants to enjoy these few moments where he can forget his internal battles and focus on the pure fact that Marinette being fond of him could never be bad news.

If anything, it feels like a seal of approval from an angel. 

”Yeah of course,” he smirks. 

“Stop doing that,” she snaps.   
  
His grin widens. “Doing what?” 

She groans. “That! That entire facial expression is not good for my sanity, please stop smiling.”

”Why don’t you make me?” Adrien challenges, leaning down to brush his nose against hers. There’s something so thrilling happening in this moment, in his mind, in his body, in the atmosphere between them. 

“Stop,” she says again, but gently pushing him away this time while frowning deeply. 

His smile slips off instantly. “Marinette, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—“

“—you didn’t,” she assures him. “I just have to stop this before it goes too far. Having a crush on each other is fun, we both obviously find the other attractive and we have a good time, but I know neither of us are looking to just have fun when we love other people. This situation deserves more care and consideration than what we’re giving it.”

Adrien feels shame wash over him. “You’re right.”

”That’s why I said I’m scared to fall in love, Chat,” her eyes are downcast now. “I can’t say I’m in love with you yet, so I wanna prevent that from even being a possibility.”

It hurts to hear it. It hurts _so_ much. But, isn’t this what he needs? To stay loyal to Ladybug? 

Is it even worth it? 

He’s worked so hard to stay loyal to a woman who doesn’t return his feelings, who constantly keeps him at arm’s length. And as a result, he pushes Marinette away. He pushes away the only other woman he’s ever truly wanted to hold close. 

But does Marinette even feel the same way? He knows there’s something there, something between them that can no longer be ignored. But, is the guy she loves waiting for her in the real world? Would she choose him over Adrien? Perhaps this mutual attraction is not quite as mutual as he wants to believe. 

The thought of Marinette with someone else fills him with dread. She’s supposed to be _his_ soulmate. Yet, here he is constantly bringing up another girl. 

_Hypocrite_.

He had just been elated a second ago how did he get so low? 

”It’s gonna be tough because we’re prone to give into our desires and instincts,” she mutters, “but I have to keep remembering that I care too much about you to let things play out this way.”

”So do I,” he echoes. 

Marinette sighs. “Which is why I think we should destroy the list.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure when I’ll have time to update again, but most likely around Winter Break!

**Author's Note:**

> On another note—the NY Special was breathtaking but very lacking in the marichat department so Shanghai I’ve got high hopes for you 🤞


End file.
